Lipstick marks: an encounter with "normal" girls

Sometimes the weirdest events happen in places that are strange in the first place. Take, for instance, the girl's bathroom. An enigma in many cases (especially to those with a Y chromosome), but this one event, in particular, stands out.

I spend most of my mornings at school in the biology lab, which also happens to be my best friend's first period class. At seven in the morning, we're about as sophisticated and eloquent as drunk turckers, so when The Call of The Wild hit me, it wasn't too unnatural that I announced, "Man, I gotta pee!"

To which my friend, who was attempting to get gather her sleep deprived thoughts long enough to have a conversation, replied, "No you don't!"

That prompted a pause. Now how would SHE know if I had to go or not? "YES, I DO!"

"Nooo, you have to stay here and talk to me!"

"I've got an idea," I said, stunned with my own brilliance, "How about you come with me and I'll talk to you while I wee!" (Pulitzer Prize writing, right there folks.) This small taste of my brilliance appealed to her, so we both got up and shuffled our way to the nearest ladies room. And Lord what a site there was!

About six or seven girls, all underclassmen, were gathered around the two mirrors (one right over the sink and one full length one on an opposite facig wall) and everywhere inbetween. Makeup and purses covered the small counter above the sink and the air reaked of freshly, heavily applied perfume. Eyes wide in shock and amazement, I eased my way past the girls to the nearest stall, only to discover that the shock had caused my body to completely forget the task at hand. In my state of panicy shock, I fussed about with my pants and the metal box mounted on the stall wall next to the toliet, as if I were on my period and had a legitamte reason for going into a bathroom stall that didn't included "Hiding from the scary underclassmen."

I flushed the unused toilet, fussed with my pants somemore and exited the stall. Of course, I washed my hands, just to make the illusion complete whereon I discovered an eyelash curler had been put on the far end of the sink for safe keeping. My task completed, my courage renewed, I quickly grabbed my friend, who had fallen into a sort of terrified stupor, and ran (literally) out of the bathroom.

I write about it because later, when my body remembered "Oh yeah, I have to go!" I went into that same bathroom to find that the one of the girls had left a neat set of lipstick marks in the perfect shape of real human lips on the full length mirror. 'Surely,' I thought, 'Those girls wouldn't have been stupid enough to put their actual lips against a SCHOOL BATHROOM MIRROR?!'

Upon closer inspection.......they had. I'm not a germ freak by any stretch of the imagination, but......

Icky.

Is that what "normal" girls are SUPPOSED to be like?