Saturday, March 10, 2007

Put the coffee on, darling, I don't wanna sleep tonight

Say good night, kids, 'cuase this is prolly the last you'll see of me for the rest of the weekend! That's right, I've put it off for as long as I could and now I'll be pulling several late nights to get a lot of different things done that have absolutely nothing to do with either drawing, sketching or frittering my time away mindlessly writing. Very depressing, I know, but it must be done! I've spent my last few days as a worthless degenerate and now I must pay the piper!

Incidentally, I'm 13 minutes out of watching Paris When It Sizzels, a great flick and the first time I've had the chance to watch Audrey Hepburn. Recently it seems like there's been backlashes of all sorts in the alternative and underground cultures. You see younger Hepburn fans springing up all over the place and I figured I might as well see what all the fuss is about.

Really, after watching that, I don't blame them. Granted it was a romantic comedy, so that gives you plenty of room for silliness. And she does it with such class and charm. To all my dear little prima donas and garish glittery bimbettes: Grow up to be like that and ignore the subculture sluts like Paris Hilton.

(Don't mind the following, she's already tired and she needs to get all the excess out so she can work properly tonight.)

Standards, standards, standards! I'm sick of it all! To hell with the standards! To hell with expectations! I'm no lady in the least! Or maybe I am, but I forgot? No, more than likely not. Apparently it's unusual to know what a Kama Sutra is? Well, I am 18, after all, and inordinarily curious. But still that's no excuse for getting offended, especially when you don't bother even at least pretending to listen after bad mouthing one of the things I hold dear to me.

Like I said, to hell with the standards! Nobody should have to follow those kinds of standards.

Also I really really really wish Jade and Davey would at least post maybe like ten seconds of Blaqk Audio? Possibly?

Anyway, I hope the rest of you are at least going to get a few hours of sleep tonight.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Adventures in Fan Art and the Origins of the DLA (eh-heh sorry it's so long.)

Emily got to go see AFI again yesterday.

Not only that, but Emily also got to meet AFI yesterday.

If you're catching a slightly jealous note....Well, you're not too far off base.

I was a wee bit anxious about that particular trip because I had given my bosom chum four pictures of the AFI band members done up as super heroes. This was all at her request threat, of course, and being the good little trained art zombie that I am, I complied. If you have visions of strong, muscular men set against spectacular backgrounds........Sorry, no. The one that originated it all was Vegan Man (Davey Havok's alter-super-ego). The style's very anime-chibi-ish and the super hero identities themselves are a little silly. In fact the whole thing's a bit silly, but it does make for a good story, so without any further ado:

The Origins of Vegan Man and the Creation of the Despair Leauge of America!

Vegan Man was created late one night-before-finals night, shortly before Emily's fabled trip to San Deigo. I was taking a break from making up a sheet of Maths notes that would hopefully help me pass my final and figured I'd add a legitimate pen-on-unlined-paper drawing to the stack of random-arse notes I was going to give Emily to read during her great oddessy. the sketch had actually been around forever, but I inked and toned and in the end, it came out looking quite sharp.

To be honest, I don't know exactly where he came from, but all of a sudden, there he was! Vegan Man! Waging his never ending war against crowdsurfers everywhere! I don't remember where I saw it, but we watched something once where Davey was talking about how stupid crowdsurfing was. It just sort of made sense (because logic was totally a key part in this entire adventure) that Vegan Man's arch enemy would be crowdsurfers. That and I've always felt bad about crowdsurfing during their set at the 2006 Warped Tour. Okay, yeah, "about ready to pass out and have to get out" is probably a good reason, but I felt pretty bad about it after I had regained enough of a grip on reality to think straight. Even though I didn't know about the crowdsurfing-sucks thing at the time, I thought I was pretty wussy for not sticking it out when I would have only had to make it through four or five more songs.

.............Keeping in mind, of course, that logic has never been one of my strongest features.

Needless to say, things that seem like pure brilliance at three in the morning are pretty damn embarrassing by noon. I gave Em Vegan Man anyway and hoped to hear no more about it. So, I'm an idiot. Big deal.

Emily decided that she wanted to give Vegan Man to the guy who inspired it all (yep, Davey), but didn't have that oppurtunity at San Deigo. She mopes a little, tells threatens me to draw the rest of the guys and gets a huge kick when I get flustered. It never really came to anything until a couple weeks ago. By then, the whole routine had turned into another gag argument between us and I wasn't really all that put off about drawing the rest of the guys. She got lucky. A lot of my initial embarassment had worn off by the time she rolled around and announced that she and Tiff were going to the AFI show in Medford and would I please draw the rest of the guys so she can give it all to them?

Really, she's not nearly as manipulative as I make her sound. In fact, out of the two of us, I'm usually the one who's more inclined to be devious and a bitch, but I'm also a sucker for my friends and I like giving my art as gifts. And a terrible procrastinator. I got the initial sketches done several weeks before she left, but they weren't inked and toned until the night before she left. Adam was the easiest. We had him basically planned out right after Vegan Man. I remembered watching a pre-show thing where he pointed to the twenty or so bottles of water sitting around the room and said something to the affect of "I take a drink of one and then set and walk off. I always forget which one is mine, so I just open another one. All of these are probably mine. It;s really not ecologically friendly."

Okay, so we can make up for that! His alter-super-ego is H2O-Man, a superhero who controles bottle water. Hell of a lot more effective than most water based superheroes, as far as I'm concerned. And it gives you a pretty effective picture as to just how seriously I took all this.

Jade's was fun to do. The idea actually came from the forum. Apparently, there are a lot of kids with Jade-style hair does, like "minature army" lots. There's a quote from him about it that gave me the idea, but I can't remeber any of it other than the jist of it was how they should organize an army of all the people with his hair style. He became Clone Man, who had the power to call up an army of Hair Ninjas, little, poorly drawn mini Jades with kung-fu skills. His costume design was based heavily off of the old Ant Man comics, including the helmet that the Ant Man used to call army of ants to him.

By now, I had started reffering to them collectively as the Despair Leauge of America (DLA, JLA, yeah why not?), it was probably a little before midnight and my creativity had officially bit the big one. I'm actually amazed how well Hunter's alter-super-ego turned out. It came out all in a rush; sketched, inked and toned in a little under twenty minutes. The only real basis was that I remembered that Hunter had more cellphones than any one person really should have and wasn't too shaby when it came to technology in general.

And thus was The Technology Wizard born. You know those super heroes who have the long, long capes, nice suites, masks and top hats? Yeah, he was one of those.

Drawing that top hat just about friggin' killed me. Before that, I had suscessfully drawn one top hat. Damn thing drove me nuts.

So, she took them up to Medford with her. I'll admit, I was nervous. I'm still kind of self concious about showing off my art. It's not that I think I suck, it's just part of the residual shyness that will NOT friggin' go away! But she took them anyway. And she gave 'em to the guys.

And they liked them.

I called Emily during lunch break today to ask her how it went. Swear to God, I was blushing like mad right in front of everyone when she told me that they had said that they liked the drawings and told her to tell me "thank you." Seconds after I got off the phone with her, I was grinning my head off.

I don't fan girl often, I try to keep it to a bare minimum and only do it in the privacy of my home, but come ON! How cool is THAT?!

You'd be shocked how completely amazing it feels when someone you admire and respect a lot likes something that you make for them. It's really silly, I know, but sometimes it's hard to create anything when you don't think you're very good and nobody really likes the things you do that make you happy. It may or may not be true, but it's one of those feelings that just sort of happens sometimes and to hear that someone who isn't your friend or your family really liked what you made for them is one of the greatest highs ever.

So...yeah, I think my feelings of being a failure and a waste will be a long time in returning.

Rock on.

Ah-HA!

Being the purely technological genius that I am, I've (finally) figured out how I screwed up when I made this damn thing by some how turning off my comments. They're on now and you may feel free to mock me openly now.

Cheers loves.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

This is how I role!

Yeah, I totally suck at updating this. If it makes you feel any better, I also have plenty of work that I'm not doing at the moment and two long scratches just above my knee that stand as a perfect example as to why one does not rough house with a 70 plus pound dog in shorts.

Also my head is killing me.

Moving on.

Overall, I have recently been feeling like a failure as a human being in gerneral, which only stands to promote the recent bout of surliness I've been coping with.....though maybe coping is the wrong word for this particular situation. Not that I've been picking fights with anyone, especailly not my friends, HEAVENS NO!!!

...............

Yeah, all right, that's a load of bull. BUT the important thing is that I HAVEN'T been picking fights that could go very very very very badly very very very quickly. It's one thing to pick a fight with your close friends, it's quite another to pick a fight with someone you've been itching to knock down a few pegs....or flights of stairs. Same principle.

On a more positive note, I'm turning 18 on Sunday. The festivities for this momentous weekend include the following:

Sleeping late on Saturday.
Chores.
Boob tube.
Dance Dance Revolution.
Church on Sunday.
Lots of naps.
Cake and presents after dinner with the family.
Going to bed late.
Sleeping as late as I can possibly get away with the following Monday.

Gotta love three day weekends.

Cioa kids.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Letters to the Rock Stars

-To The Rockstars I-

Give me a reason to believe the lies you’re telling me.
Make me believe that you are who you say you are.
I just need one excuse, because you’re the only ones left.
You guys are the only thing I want to believe in anymore.
You and your words.

Give me a reason and I’ll believe you forever.
Maybe I know you’re lying to me, but I don’t really care.
I don’t want to believe in anything anymore.
Except maybe you guys.

So come up with some half assed excuse!
Come up with some fantastical lies!
Tell me your demons, your angels, your monsters, your saints!
Tell me you care about me, tell me you understand what IT’s like!
Tell me you’re with me when the world starts spinning too fast.
Tell me you know what it’s like to stop wanting anymore.
That you know what it’s like to seem to lose nothing and yet everything.
Tell me you know why I fall apart and tell me that you do too.
I’ll believe whatever you say because I need to.

Make some promises so you can break them.
Tell me you’ll still be here when I need you.
Just give me a reason to believe you. I will.
I always do.

-To The Rock Stars II-

If you knew how much we depended on you,
I mean really depended on you,
What would you do?
Do you depend on us just as much?
Are we the ones who keep you alive?
Do we keep you hanging on to that last shred of hope,
When you don’t see any other reason to go on?

How much does it hurt you when we turn away?
How bad does it burn when we say we don’t care anymore?
(And then do you understand how much it hurts us when you say the same things?)
What apologies could we offer, what price could we pay for such a crime?

The truth is that there’s nothing we can say that would be enough.
So many of us owe you guys almost everything.
Some of us owe you our lives, but would that scare you if you knew that?
Would it worry you? Add more pressure?
But don’t you understand? When you’re up there and we can see you
and we pretend that you see us too, you’re helping.

You make us alive. We believe that you know what IT’s like,
so we keep going.
So we can see you guys up on that stage again.

-Post Melodramatic Breakdown. (Seriously, this is Caitlin being slightly less emo)-

-To the Rock Stars III (Play it for me, Sam)-

Sing it for me, babe, ‘cause there’s not a soul who’ll listen
Tell me about it, ‘cause there’s nobody who gives a damn
I’m just another messed up kid, with a torn up heart and a bag of sorrows
And not a single soul who’ll give a damn

So sing something for me, babe
Sing me something that hurts
Sing about the pain
And maybe I’ll join in
‘cause it seems to stop the hurt

Let me tell you, babe, I’ve had my share of sorrow
I’ve loved when no one else would
And was beaten down for my pains, by that so called "IN" crowd
Yeah, babe, it’s always the same
But you’re here now, so I guess things are looking up
As long as he keeps playing that guitar, I’ll be jamming right along
And if it’s not too much to ask

Sing something for me, babe
Sing me something that hurts
Sing about the pain
And maybe I’ll join in
‘cause it seems to stop the hurt

I don’t care for that silly, sappy mess
Passed off for music and shoved on radios and tv screens
Tell me about the pain, babe, of losing something sweet
Play me something wild and sad, to make this body move
I like that mournful tune you played
Just a few sad notes that hurt more than the bruises
It makes life worth living, I guess

So sing something for me, babe
Sing me something that hurts
Sing about the pain
And maybe I’ll join in
‘cause it seems to stop the hurt.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

A Lesson in Escapism

Well, I've survived my first week of new classes. That's a step in the right direction, don't you think? I've discovered that, while staying up until the wee hours of the morning is fun, I am not a person who can function under stress well when I haven't been sleeping. So, I've been going to bed a lot earlier and sleeping as late as I can. It's made me wonder why people my age don't sleep more. We seem to be a culture of insomniacs, the less sleep the better, but from my more recent experiences, I've discovered that sleep is something that can be an escape as well as a necessity.

Weird, huh? I had nightmares a lot when I was a little kid, so it's pretty odd that now I'm using this as a way to escape stress and high school drama.

Regression is another way to deal with it. Lately, I've been watching movies and wearing things (for example the famed Straberry Shortcake watch) that three or even two years ago, I wouldn't even consider. Go figure. I guess you have to deal with growing up and going out into the real world in your own way.

And I don't care who you are, old school Winne the Pooh is one of the most coolest things on the face of the earth!

(Takes all kinds, I suppose)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Adventures of a Teenaged Something-or-Other

As it turns out, my previous bad mood was due to a very small, but icky case of the stomach flu. However, armed with a green tea that is not only chocked full of antioxidants, but also honey, lemon and ginseng, I shall surely recover.

Just in time for second term! (Please hold your applause.) And this time around, I have a full schedule, so be expecting less frequent posting.....all four of you... It's a more or less normal schedule. Goverment, Yearbook, P.E., Writing 121 and Geometry. The last was an accomplishment nothing short of sheer force of will. I am nothing short of horrid when it comes to any maths. Wether I'll be able to pass this particular subject remains to be seen.

One conflict that may occur is my Elementary school thing conflicting with Maths. You see, every Wednesday at around1:50, I hop my merry little bum over to the Elementary school to help out in a program that is known as Artist In Residence. Basically I set up, help kids, help clean up, that sort of thing. It's actually a lot of fun AND it's part of my job shadow/careers requirments. But now that I have Maths at the same time...... Who knows what will be happening with that.

Writing 121 will be, by far, the most interesting. I enjoy most types of writing, particularly fiction (blogging is actually a close second), and, as one of my classmates bemoaned, we apparently will be doing a lot of that.

That particular calssmate is also a friend of mine. He and I got in a sort of argument over the benifits of fiction. He dislikes it almost to the point of hate. I, on the other hand, am only one small step away from becoming a closet D&D girl. What we were discussing was mostly literature fiction, though. I expect he has equal distaste for murder mysteries, sci-fi and fantasy as well. This same classmate has also been bemoaning his recent misadventures in the World of Women via his blog on mySpace. So, what's the first thing that pops into my head upon parting ways with my friend for the day?

'Saaaay, wasn't that Gaiman story "How to Talk to Girls at Parties" in my new Scifi and Fantasy magazine?'